Thursday, July 1, 2010

Not My Usual Uppity Self

I had considered putting a caption at the top of this post: Warning, deep depression alert. Or Warning, may be too gloomy for some readers. But I'll try to keep it somewhere above that level of disgust. The general overall mood of this post is quite different from the last one.

It's one of those days. You know, the ones where you wake up and say, "What the heck am I doing? Who do I think I am? Do I really think I can write?"

Quick, someone toss me a rope before this swill pools so deep I won't be able to stay afloat.

Yeah, that's where I am today. Down, down, down in the slosh puddles of self-doubt.

Oh, you don't have days like that? Well, I think you're telling sweet little lies. No? Okay, we'll just go with that for now.

I'm not normally the pessimistic type. I'm usually the one stoking others with the "there there nows, every things going to be just fine, you're a terrific and worthwhile person'.

Reading, writing, reading some more, writing some more, long stories, short stories, even shorter stories, trying to learn this crazy craft of writing, reading blog after blog, blogs I follow, some I don't, but should. After reading all the wonderful and interesting blogs I follow, and there are some really good ones by the way, some days, like today, I just get a little overwhelmed by the talent of my fellow writer friends. Yes, I have some. At least I like to think I do. Don't get me wrong, I am proud to call them friends and proud that some of them actually find my blog worthy of following. I'm new at blogging, but I have to admit after reading theirs, I find myself a bit in awe.

I woke up this morning, always a good thing, but this overwhelming feeling of not being good enough, not making the cut and worrying about rejection snuck up on me.

On the bright side, (right now you're thinking, thank God, this post couldn't get any more depressing) don't call the suicide hot line just yet, I'm here to tell you, I am learning something new every day. Things like; back story--how much is too much, increasing tension and motivation, getting rid of the unnecessary.

So yes, I know I am improving, the more I read, write, read some more and write some more.

I know, you say, all writers go through that. Some say they go through it every day. Well fine. Dandy. What do they do about?
I'll tell you.

They keep writing. Period. Simple. Just keep writing. It's like breathing.

6 comments:

  1. Liquor helps too.

    Ref: ...don't call the suicide hot line just yet...

    Oh, good. That was my next step.

    It'll be okay, Susan. The next story is right around the corner.

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  2. It's sort of early for drinking, but no worries, I'm over it now.

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  3. Liquor helps too.

    Ref: ...don't call the suicide hot line just yet...

    Oh, good. That was my next step.

    It'll be okay, Susan. The next story is right around the corner.

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  4. Ha, Thanks Maria, It's a bit to early for alcohol. I'll definitely reserve that for later.

    But I am over it now, so no need to worry.

    Back to writing, editing, and stuff.

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  5. I tried alcohol, but since I'm lying on the floor after about three drinks, that didn't work out well.

    So, now I sit in my garage, drink buckets of coffee, smoke way too many cigarettes, and will myself to 'suck it up'. Either that or I find someone who is more miserable than me and make them feel better so that I have to feel better. Make sense? Nothing I say ever makes sense.

    Editing is usually when I get the writing woes. But then I compare my first draft to what I've edited and I feel much better.

    Oh and just so you know, the suicide hotline doesn't like third party calls. If I were to call and say "Hey, Susan is suicidal." They'd say "Who is Susan and why are you tying up the hotline?"

    Feel better? Good. I have to go burn a layer of skin off so that the mosquito bites stop itching.

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  6. You crack me up. Thanks for the cheer.

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