I write. So I guess by someone's definition, I am a writer. To my friends and family, I suppose I'm considered a dreamer.
Five years ago, I left a ten-year managerial position to pursue a new business endeavor with my husband but then the economy tanked and we decided to hold off. Good thing. I worked most of my adult life until then so I figured I could take some time off.
My husband kept telling me to find something I truly enjoyed. Find something I really love doing. Do I have his support? Absolutely. I couldn't do this, without it.
When I first started writing, I didn't call myself a writer. When people asked me what I did, I was a bit reluctant and embarrassed to say I write. I'd said things like I want to write a book or I'm writing a book. I was surprised at the responses I received by these statements. Everybody wanted to read my book. Or so they said. That's another story.
To the point, I didn't have a day job, so I often thought of myself as unemployed. Then there was that word that kept hanging over my head. Nagging me. Little bits and pieces gnawed at my brain until my self-esteem started plummeting to my feet. Unpublished.
When I first started writing my novel, a very good friend asked me what I hoped to get out of it.
I laughed. Then thought. Hmmm. Something to consider. I came up with an answer, and at the time, it was the truth. I told her I would be happy if just one person read my book. Mission accomplished. In fact, I think five people have successfully made it through the entire manuscript and one more is struggling. I say struggling, because, she's editing. I think it's hard to sit down and enjoy a good story when you're looking for mistakes.
Does being unpublished make me less of a writer? No. But it would be a huge boost to my ego. I mean huge.
When I'm not writing, it's my fault. This happens when I'm filled with self-doubt and worries about what other people think. Especially other writers.
I am a writer. I may not be the best writer, but I am continually improving. The more I write, the better I get. So the saying goes. I knew I was a writer when I realized I kept leaving the shower—mid shampoo—to write a thought down before I forgot what it was. For some reason, that's when most of my ideas pop up. I've come to consider it a cleansing of the soul along with the shampoo. As though I'm washing all the nasty thoughts of the world away, so only my creative juices can flow. Hey, it works for me. I've also been known to crawl out of bed in the middle of the night to jot something down.
Bottom line is, one completed manuscript under my belt, another in progress, several short stories and a blog and website to call my own, I guess I feel more comfortable calling myself a writer.
You might think this post is a little self-indulgent, but
I live. I love. I write. – I am a writer.
Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear what inspires you and how you became to love this insane thing called writing. And if you don't write, tell me what inspires you anyway.
